Hate comes in many forms.

August 18, 2017

     The picture above was taken in my office after I wrote the outline for this blog and yes, tears were involved.  This isn’t how I planned to start this blog but I wanted you to see my face.  You’re not cute and you should wear makeup.  That’s what one woman wrote me after reading my last blog which is still up and entitled, In a world full of sheep, be the lone wolf.  In that blog, I wrote about the bad experience I had at Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida, which had nothing to do with my face having makeup on it or not.

     In the blog, I did refer to there being a lot of rude people in Orlando and those, in particular were foreigners.  Especially in today’s world, I knew I needed to be careful with my wording so just as I preplanned this blog, I did the same for that one and even had four different drafts before it was published.  I never wanted to offend anyone through that blog, I just wanted to put my feelings out in the universe.  I wanted people to know that it’s not actually the “most magical place on earth” or at least it wasn’t for me and that’s not because of the rude people I encountered but also how Magic Kingdom was operating that day.

     After the blog was posted, I had people give me feedback, like Melanie who corrected me when I thought the slogan for Magic Kingdom was the “happiest place on earth” instead of most magical.  I had people suggest I plan my trip better, which I totally agree and a few people even offered to plan my next trip to Disney but then I had people who weren’t so friendly with their advice.  Just to name a few, I was called an idiot, a dingbat, a radio star brat, a spoiled princess, and a whiny racist.  Those were the “clean names” I was called.  I do consider myself a strong person but the day I read the comments, I completely broke down and hated myself.  I made myself believe that I was what they were saying. 

     I was messed up all week.  Everything someone said to me, I took it as negative criticism.  To distract my mind, I spent the weekend with one of my best friends.  At one point, she told me I was being very emotional and I told her, I was just out of my head completely.  I never once mentioned the blog because I was so scared she’d go read it and think those things about me.  I was letting those stranger’s thoughts of me mess up my entire mind and heart when I know exactly who I am.  I am not racist, I’ve never thought of myself as a princess and if  I’ve ever seem entitled, it’s because I have always put 100% of what I have into what I’m doing and I show that self-regard.  I have definitely used wrong words a lot in my life and for example, I might be criticized for that last sentence but me being nieve and calling a family Chinese instead of Asian should not have caused people to attack me in such a way.  I am a passionate woman who is a daughter, a sister, an aunt, an entertainer but more importantly, human.

     I’m not perfect by no means but in everything I do, I always try to put myself out there as happy and positive but the one time I write about a bad day and just the experience I had at a theme park, I was hated by many.  One woman said she didn’t know me and didn’t want to know me but she saw my blog in a Disney forum and had to come tell me that I am the “most racist, elitist, demanding, rude, frosted flake ever”.  I suppose that’s where a lot of the haters came from and if their goal was to make me hate myself, mission accomplished.  Thankfully I have God, and family and friends who know who I really am and there were supporters who don’t know me at all who spoke up too.  One woman named Marylynn commented, “I am so sick and tired of offended people. I have seen perfectly innocent people slandered by troll people who just want to make trouble”. 

     There are many people who are being harassed, bullied, and trolled, as Marylynn put it, and they don’t have the support system that I do.  I am a strong woman but we all have weaknesses and are all human.  I feel strong right now so for those feeling weak today, I say to the harrassers, the tormentors, the haters, before you start to criticize someone for what they said or did, have a conversation with them because it might be a case of naiveté or you having a preconception.  If the woman that called me an entitled racist would have asked for my number instead of slander me on Facebook, I would have answered her phone call and she would have known the truth of who I am.  It’s sad how the biggest problem in our country today was played out with me…or as Alanis Morissette would say, “isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?”