- The Hawk & Tom Show

November 29, 2018

Studies say the majority of Americans don't get enough sleep...we think we can help remedy that.

Here's the list of "The Top Tips for Getting Better Sleep".

- Avoid exercise before bed.

- Think pleasant thoughts when you get into bed.  Like waking up beside someone you don't deeply despise.

- Think about how eager all your friends are to hear about your dumb dream.

- Avoid alcohol at night.  Key words:  "night."  Not "early morning," "mid-morning," "late morning," "early afternoon," "midafternoon," "late afternoon," "early evening," "mid-evening" or "late evening."

- Avoid thinking about distressing things before bed.

- Lay your head on two large fluffy pillows.

- Before bed each night, ask all your Facebook friends for thoughts and prayers. 

- No meth after 5:00 P.M.

- Borrow some of those pills your husband takes to cope with being married to you.

- Don't drink anything before bed….unless you have rubber sheets and don't need to get up to go.

- If you find yourself suffering from insomnia, head directly to a theater showing "Robin Hood".

- Make sure your room is always completely dark by spending your money on burgers instead of your electricity bill.

- Don't use your phone before bed.  Especially if your mom is wanting you to play Words with Friends.

What do you do to get good sleep?